Getting Laid

Our chickens live in a gypsy caravan with food, water and plenty of bugs to chase on pastured paddocks beneath the sky, protected by solar-powered electric mesh fences. It will take 18-20 or so weeks from day of hatching, before the girls begin to lay.

Photo: Pierrick Bonnifay

No longer fluffy yellow, each feisty adult hen has beautifully sleek feathers, a bright red comb and a full throaty squawk that declares her place in the world. At this age each of our girls are also ready to search out a comfortable secluded place to settle, hunker down and do as instinct commands – lay her first egg.

Chickens prefer to lay in a darkish, hidden and protected place – nothing like a hospital Labour Ward I hasten to add – and they like to take the their time about it. Our nesting boxes can be described with all of the adjectives above. Furthermore the large nesting boxes are safely suspended from the ceiling of their caravan home and within easy reach from sleeping perch position. Wake up.. lay an egg.. go out and play.

If the nesting box is busy, there’s a waiting-room perch just outside. During the course of the day , it’s not uncommon to see a number of chooks balancing on the perch, looking  for a vacancy. In the early days when the girls are just learning to lay, we tend to install an extra set of external nesting boxes to cater for the early morning rush hour. While I’m not always able to tell when each girl has laid her egg, a chook will often sing an ‘egg song’  after laying, while others may just sit quietly in the nest, post-lay.

The first few learner driver eggs are generally quite small in size (which is a rather sensible biological adaptation) and are called pullet eggs, coming in at around 40-46 grams give or take.  Eventually the chicken works her way up to laying larger eggs. For our breed of hen, peak production settles at about 6 eggs/week with eggs weighing 60-74 grams each.

Where possible, we keep egg cleaning to a minimum. As the egg is passed through the oviduct it is covered with a protective coating or bloom to seal the pores, prevent bacteria from entering the shell and reduce water loss. This makes the egg last longer – so  unless it’s dirty, we leave the bloom in place.

Occasionally there are misshapen eggs, shell-less eggs (with just a membrane holding the albumen and yolk together) or double-yoker eggs caused by a minor malfunction in the laying process. The double-yoker pictured below came in at around 120 grams. Ouch.

Contrary to popular opinion, a hen doesn’t need a rooster to lay an egg. She’ll happily lay eggs and continue to lay eggs without him. The difference is that those eggs are unfertilised – no rooster, no babies.  Most commercial eggs are unfertilised which may put those of a vegetarian or Buddhist disposition at ease.

Our farm does have a rooster called Brownie (I know, I know)  who arrived by mistake as a baby chick among his sisters. We couldn’t knock him off as per accepted wisdom because it’s not his fault he’s a boy?  He is housed elsewhere with some older girls who have been retired from active duty. They still lay the odd egg and it’s quite possible that those eggs are fertilised. But as soon as eggs go into refrigeration, any multiplying cells  stop growing. So those eggs are perfectly OK to eat too.

So why are there some older girls? These chooks have ‘issues’, meaning that no-one might want to buy them as backyard layers. It is our usual practise to sell our hens at about 18 months or so to locals/neighbours as backyard layers. Only to nice people though, you understand.

But some poor older chooks have had it rough and don’t make the grade. For example one girl has poor vision from an eye infection, one girl limps after being caught upside down in a tree for who knows how long and another has a very leaky bottom as a result of a prolapse (where the oviduct turns inside out and protrudes through the vent). She needs a full bottom, warm water wash and blow-dry at least once a week and not everyone wants to do that… I assure you. And so we keep them in the back paddock to wander the orchards.

Another common complication resulting from egg laying includes egg-binding, where an egg gets stuck during transit down the oviduct . It can be life threatening and quick action is needed because there’s another egg on its way behind. Lubrication and gentle manipulation of the egg is required. You don’t want to break the egg shell inside the poor chook, because that could be fatal. So it’s warm bath, warm steam, lubricant and gentle, gentle massage to help her lay that egg.

The conclusion we can draw is that getting laid is an exciting and sometimes treacherous event.  It’s a big milestone for any animal to start to reproduce itself. And especially strange I suspect  when the reproduction looks nothing like you yourself.

Vegetables probably feel the same way.